At 4:00pm (my morning) I'm heading to the gym with D. I'm exhausted thinking about it, but I'm hopeful that this is a routine that I may be able to keep up! I had a good night at work last night (this morning), working with someone different, makes the night go quickly. I was originially to work alone, and I was looking forward to that more than working with someone new, but sometimes the choice isn't mine to make.
I got good news today, I cashed in a life insurance policy. (I didn't need it any longer... it's a long story, just trust me!) I'm getting a bit of a payout for it, and I'm excited about that. It'll be enough to pay off my trip, OR do a few other things. I'm looking seriously into the few other things, and hoping that I can accomplish a few things before the settlement comes in. I am feeling really good about money right now. I feel like I've got some decent Karma going on right now...
I need to see my therapist. There's way too much for me to think about with regards to surgery. A friend has got approval from OHIP, but is having trouble with some of the stipulations. How can they decide to cover the surgery, but not cover all of it? It doesnt make ANY sense to me. I'm hoping he's able to get that clarified today, or tomorrow. I'm awaiting his reply, and to hear the rest of the story... it's a little nerve wracking for me.
I'm worried about funding being pulled out from underneath me. I'm worried about a change of government while I'm in the process. I'm worried about not having enough time to get everything done, in the covered amount of time. I'm worried about healing, and about travel. Language barriers. I'm worried about complications.
More and more though, I'm becoming less worried, and more excited. About the first time I wake up, and it's not my imagination. About the first time that I stand at a urinal to void, and about the first time I make love to a partner. I'm excited.
Anyway, I never know when I've said too much, or when it's too graphic, so I'll stop here, and just say that I need to see my therapist to straighten some thoughts and concerns out. -it's also reccomended for the process, as it's fairly daunting.
17 working days till Mexico now. I'm starting to get excited. there are a few things I'd like to do before then, I'm making decisions, making lists, and making changes. It's a positive time in my life right now, and I'm really thankful to be in this place.
I've got A LOT going for me. And it's nice to see that, and be able to recgonize it as well.
-work is going well, steady. they're giving me holidays to go to Mexico in February
-working on the process for funding... (I never thought I'd get here)
-dating a really great girl... she's the whole package, and *seems* fairly sane... though I know that NO girl is truly sane!
-about to embark on the weightloss journey again... *this time i will do it. this time i will do it. this time i will do it* mantra.
-in a good place.
I've been off the welbutrin for 4 days now, and there don't seem to be any weird side effects. *vertigo, nausea, ect. I think this is going to be the end of Agenor and Anti D's. It's time. I'm feeling very good about this as well.
My main concern is the migraines, but I'm really hoping that I can control them with diet and exercise? Perhaps.
Anyway, I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes opened...
~Agenor
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