I didn't suspect that I would say this. And certainly not only two weeks into my little sick-ation. I am ready to go back to work. I have spent my time off, getting through three seasons of HOUSE. I am loving it, but it's exhausting.
I've done all of the things I should be doing in this time, except for eating properly and getting SOME exercise. I have spent the ENTIRE day in my room, going between my desk, and my bed, watching House, and trying to focus long enough to write down some thoughts on paper.
I bought my train ticket last night for Toronto. I'm staying with M again, and looking forward to it. The train ride up should be good, as well as the quiet time again, to spend writing some more, and just getting my thoughts together. It is back to work for me next Wednesday, providing everything goes well.
I'm heading back to the big city tomorrow night, and won't return until Monday night. I've got a few things planned to keep things well rounded, and of course some down time, spent with the puppies, and my note pad. I need to get some exercise too, even if it is just some walking. to the library, or to TJ's place, I do need to walk. I can feel my body beginning to get angry at me. Ironic? that I put my gym membership on medical hold now, when I want to start using it again? Naturally.
I need to question my motives for wanting to use it too... I'm a tricky one...
This coming week, I need to watch what I eat. I've been eating terrible. I really have gained about 5-10lbs since I've been off work. How that's possible? I'm not exactly sure, especially considering all the walking I did in TO. I think it's got more to do with poor eating habits than anything else. I'm all off schedule. Well... I'm almost back on schedule, I suppose.
Truth: When I started this sick-ation, I didn't want the beta blockers to work, but now that I've been off for a bit, I really am ready to go back to work, and I'm really hoping that we are making some headway with them. I really do hope that the beta blockers will reduce my migraines. It's time to add a few more positive and healthy things into my lifestyle.
I've got this. I know I can do it.
I don't want to get too attached to the idea of moving to TO this weekend while I'm there... I love everything about staying with M and it's sometimes hard for me to separate the immediate feeling of comfort, and accomplishment, from the more lasting feeling of security that I get at home. Even if I can get through till I start my surgery starts, (or until my next bout of Migraines attack) that'd give me a chance to replenish my savings a little.
It will happen.
~Agenor
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