a brief moment of inspriation

It's really ALL I can think about.
I think about using it. Standing to pee at a urinal (though I know how far down the line that really is) I think about the first time I make love to someone. I wonder who that (special someone) lol will be. I think about the healing, and I wonder what it will feel like when I wake up for the first time, and realize that I CAN touch it...
I want to know what it's going to be like. My taste in porn has changed, done a COMPLETE three sixty. So much like my chest surgery. It's funny the way our own bodies make us relate to others' bodies.

I missed therapy today. The migraine kept me down and out. I could have gone, but I would have spent my whole $70 waiting for it to be over, and I've already processed, and there's nothing left to process. Ready or not, here I come.

It will be amazing. A rock, someone who has played SUCH an important role in my developing life. I remember our first session, talking about the little boy in the mirror, about the little boy inside of me, and now, looking in the mirror and seeing much more than merely a glimpse from time to time, I KNOW that this is a transformation, and a transition that she has enjoyed watching. I see it in her eyes every time I see her. We have taken to hugging, a sure sign...

A card in the mailbox, a hug on the street. A lucky boy indeed. I also remember the early days, and talking about my relationship with Courtney as though it was life and death, and I wonder what she thought in those moments. It must have driven her nuts. At this this time around with Tatianna, I know where I stand, and I KNOW what's right and wrong, even if I don't like it, or always want to admit it. :) I'm sure I'm a much easier client these days.

Up from childhood into manhood. It means so much more than just going to the states to pick up a penis. I wish I could explain it better. I wish, I could show you exactly how I feel. You would love it. the pushing and pulling, the excitement, and the joy. The fear and the unknown, it's a whirlwind of emotions, that's for sure. 

So much to do, and while I'm feeling better, I'm going to take advantage of that... :)

~Agenor