It's raining again in the desert. It seems like since I've been here, it's done an awful lot of raining. It's usually at night which is nice, and it's peaceful.
I'm lonely as all sin, and looking for cures to that loneliness anywhere I can find them.
Renting a car,
spending copious amounts of money shopping, buying things I either don't need, or think I need, but could probably do without for a while, or could just simply cut back on some of the things I am buying.
I'm doing okay
I'm crashing here and there.
Today it was Emily.
and Tatianna.
But mostly Emily.
A lifetime away. Two different people, and here we are, in love and yet not. Not in a million. Never could have happened.
I'm beyond happy for her, and my stance has changed on gay marriages.
I support Gay Marriages.
I support equal marriages.
I support: MARRIAGE.
I want the rain to change the way I feel.
I want to have been writing this whole time.
I want to shout out and yell how happy I am to be in crush.
I want to push people out of the way, and be the first in line.
I want to wake up happy.
It's a crazy space, the one my heart occupies.
Loving and hurting, and chained.
Stronger than I think.
I"m tired of carrying the weight.
I'm tired of trying to make it better
and I"m exhausted by the way that my room is the safest place for me.
I miss life.
i miss buddy.
i'm ready to go home.
but i'm also so ready to have this date, if it happens.
What will come of it? 3500km away?
A visit with my uncle, and a trip to vegas,
i wish i could be more coherant, i have so much to say.
~Agenor
No comments:
Post a Comment