Low and High Day 1

When I lived in Guelph for the first time, a few years ago, a very close friend and his partner would play a game called high low. At the end of each day they would take a couple minutes to reflect on their day with the other. A sweet way to end the day.

I'm trying. God knows the last few weeks have been a whirlwind of excitement, nervousness, sadness, confusion, and even a little depression. I feel it creeping.

I'd like to pick up healthy practices, and so I'd like to start a daily game of High Low. But I'd like to change it to low high, to focus on the good parts. Yay positivity! I'm going to be as honest as possible...

Today was an insane day.
Low: (I had a couple that were noteworthy) -When I realized that I wouldn't be getting a text message before I went into work. When I watched her walk to the front door and then drove away. When I woke up with the sick feeling in my stomach. When she told me that she was ready to go home.

HighS!: Yes, even on a day like today there were many highs.
-When we had a delicious breakfast together, without much awkwardness, even after all the chats we'd had in the past 24 hours. -When she held me as I cried (something that I haven't done in a VERY VERY long time, and something that felt so very very good!)
-When she was giving me the directions to the bus station, and I realized I wasn't paying a single ounce of attention, but had to smile, because she was so genuine, and helpful, and cute :)
-When Benny and I realized that Victoria Park was NOT the location where we were meaning to go, we were in fact supposed to be at Royal City Park IN GUELPH... -When I met new people today, and reunited with old people, and when I reminisced of the EARLY Guelph Days. -when i drove home, listening to Kenny Chesney hurting bad, but knowing that someday, somewhere I'll be okay... (not completely believing it, but putting on a damn good show)


It's a process, right? Everything is a process. Right now, I've got this new process thing going on... I'm trying, God knows that I am. That I have been, and that I'll likely keep trying. I've got some pretty big fears going on right now, and it's up to me to conquer them... It's scary. daunting.
But I'm sure that the Big Guy doesn't give anyone more than they can handle... so i'll keep on handling it.
alone, I suppose... my heart really is a wee bit broken right now...

maybe in a couple weeks things will be more clear.
time will be helpful here.

~A